Friday, October 16, 2009

mayb a little hope?

So i guess everything is catching up on me. I never...never really cared for anything. I was a selfish person, mentally. All started off with not being able to talk to anyone and feel that trust. Sure i can go ahead and tell people my problems but I have never really had any problems in the past, with the exception of one girl around my sophomore year, other than that a problem to me was: having a bad game, spraining an ankle, and just the common argument with somebody. I never had the backstabbing friend to worry about, or the cheating girlfriends(wait, i didnt have many) or even having to deal with financial problems at home. People would tell me about their issues and I would listen and care, but to a certain extent where I would just worry about myself. Now it is all happening to me, or so in different situations.

I have always known to be by myself, and I like it that way. Human interaction does not catch my attention so much. I would care less if I didnt talk to anybody, but god oh god how I wish i could find someone for a day and feel so comfortable I can tell them something and they would actually know what I was talking about. My days have been like roller coasters, I feel great one day or for a few hours, and then the problems tend to reappear and put me in the worst of conditions. The only positive reason I put in my head is this is all a test. A test to see how much I can handle and what I am able to overcome. Maybe its for future situations? I have no clue, but a little sign, or some type of hope would help out so much.

Church? god? never really believed as I am the type that I need to see it to believe it. However, I do have that little fate that there may be a possible someone who listens to everything I say. Maybe tonight he will hear me out...

1 comment:

  1. friends, if you consider me one, will always be there to listen to you..i would. i am( mean he or SHE.